Monday, March 16, 2009
Dear "SyFy" Channel:
I, a female in your most sought-after demographic (white, young, educated, with a cushy job that Great Depression II has not yet taken from me), have been an avid watcher of Sci Fi Channel programs for almost as long as you were a channel.
Literally, thousands upon thousands of hours spent watching re runs of old movies like Tremors II, Revenge of the Giant Worm from Hell, television series such as Sliders--even your atrocious version of what used to be Sliders. I watched these things like clockwork. Sliders, a once a week habit. Tremors II, every Thursday, Saturday matinee and Sunday evening.
Take it from me, I am not one to nut over my internalized self-conception as a "nerd" or "geek". Obviously I can work a computer, and have some opinions on technology, but I'm as average as the rest of you dimwits. The main difference being, I am not that swayed by marketing folks' asinine assertions that for example, "SyFy is actually what the 18-34 set would type in a ' text message ', or electronic communication primarily used for cellphone to cellphone interaction" is anything but ball massaging. SyFy may feel hip and fresh to you, but that is because you paid so much dang money for the most ludicrous conclusion ever--it had damn well better "feel" right.
In conclusion, SyFy channel--I am no longer ever watching any of your programs live again. I will not use the new "syfy.com" name. I will not support your pointless vendetta in trying to make science fiction "ungeeky". Guess what! Geeks are about the most passionate users you can have. Trying to get them to nut over "serious dramas" that just _happen_ to involve robots is about as retarded as the name "syfy" itself. Categories serve a motherfucking purpose--allowing us to find shit that we're looking for without knowing it by name.
Is your masturbatory nonsense really so important that you feel you should do away with thousands of years of information technology? OH RIGHT--IT is just waaaay too geeky for people who make shows about fucking vampires and robots and mysterious space anomolies. I forgot.
For the record, if you re wondering how I am going to get your wonderful programming now that I have mentally aborted your existence--I am going to steal it. In fact, I am going to steal everything you air-- I don't even care how fucking bad the 4400 was, or how much every new show you ever produce is going to suck now that you got BSG out of your system. I am going to use technological "geekery" as you probably think of it, and steal the fuck out of all your "original" content.
For the record, I support your decision to alienate yourselves from probably the most powerful userbase out there. Go for it, this will be more entertaining than Tropicana. And while we are at it--stay the _fuck_ away from SF.
Literally, thousands upon thousands of hours spent watching re runs of old movies like Tremors II, Revenge of the Giant Worm from Hell, television series such as Sliders--even your atrocious version of what used to be Sliders. I watched these things like clockwork. Sliders, a once a week habit. Tremors II, every Thursday, Saturday matinee and Sunday evening.
Take it from me, I am not one to nut over my internalized self-conception as a "nerd" or "geek". Obviously I can work a computer, and have some opinions on technology, but I'm as average as the rest of you dimwits. The main difference being, I am not that swayed by marketing folks' asinine assertions that for example, "SyFy is actually what the 18-34 set would type in a ' text message ', or electronic communication primarily used for cellphone to cellphone interaction" is anything but ball massaging. SyFy may feel hip and fresh to you, but that is because you paid so much dang money for the most ludicrous conclusion ever--it had damn well better "feel" right.
In conclusion, SyFy channel--I am no longer ever watching any of your programs live again. I will not use the new "syfy.com" name. I will not support your pointless vendetta in trying to make science fiction "ungeeky". Guess what! Geeks are about the most passionate users you can have. Trying to get them to nut over "serious dramas" that just _happen_ to involve robots is about as retarded as the name "syfy" itself. Categories serve a motherfucking purpose--allowing us to find shit that we're looking for without knowing it by name.
Is your masturbatory nonsense really so important that you feel you should do away with thousands of years of information technology? OH RIGHT--IT is just waaaay too geeky for people who make shows about fucking vampires and robots and mysterious space anomolies. I forgot.
For the record, if you re wondering how I am going to get your wonderful programming now that I have mentally aborted your existence--I am going to steal it. In fact, I am going to steal everything you air-- I don't even care how fucking bad the 4400 was, or how much every new show you ever produce is going to suck now that you got BSG out of your system. I am going to use technological "geekery" as you probably think of it, and steal the fuck out of all your "original" content.
For the record, I support your decision to alienate yourselves from probably the most powerful userbase out there. Go for it, this will be more entertaining than Tropicana. And while we are at it--stay the _fuck_ away from SF.
Labels: rant, sci fi channel, syfy, tv
